Debra Amador and Kelly DeLaRosa: 2nd chances

This story might be called: Never give up. But it also could be called: But still, get on with it. In 2009, Debra Amador was busy with her very busy life. The owner of Mindful PR in Petaluma, she was living in Mill Valley, launching books, supporting careers and promoting events for clients such as author-hotelier Chip Conley and Rep. Lynn Woolsey, D-Petaluma. While working with those "who make the world a better place," Debra also was working on herself. A longtime member of AA, she loved her dog and her Mill Valley cottage, and she had meaningful work and a wide circle of friends. She'd given up on the idea of a "happy movie ending" with a husband and kids, but believed in love. Plus, she'd been in love before. Not long after her 26th birthday in 1987, when she stopped drinking, she'd met Kelly DeLaRosa, then 31 and now 56, at an AA meeting. They both felt chemistry, and though they were dating others, they disentangled themselves to be together for two years. "I've found the love of my life," Debra thought. But Kelly, a contractor and owner of Kelly Co., a 25-year HVAC business in San Rafael, was going through hard times: His mother was dealing with lung cancer, and he self-medicated throughout her painful illness and death. Debra ultimately felt she had to choose her sober life over her love for him and left. She went south to Los Angeles. Kelly went in search of himself: barefoot waterskiing, becoming a Bikram yoga devotee and eventually marrying at 40. Meanwhile, Debra developed her career and, over the years, had a few serious relationships. Occasionally, she heard mention of Kelly through mutual friends, and though it took years to let him go, the day came when she knew she really had. Running at Stinson Beach one afternoon with her dog, she turned to see her beloved retriever licking the face of a cute toddler. A minute later, she saw a beautiful woman and then Kelly. She felt genuine joy for this little family and, on the drive home, called both her mom and best friend to say, "I'm really happy for Kelly." She finally had let go of the past. "I really felt it was done," she said. But a few years later, she was surprised to hear from her old flame, who was going through a divorce. It wasn't contact for romance; he was in the middle of taking apart and looking at his life, and wanted to acknowledge Debra's contribution. For over a year, they were friends, walking their dogs on the beach together and talking through their challenges. After 20 years of life "on life's terms," each had lived through loves, losses and a lot of lessons. And then they both began to feel something like love emerging once again through their bond of friendship. Debra said she felt something crack open in herself. As she came to have a relationship with Kelly's son, now 7, she began to see how far Kelly had come. Nearly 25 years after their first meeting, both are still striving to live their lives with a mantra they first heard at AA all those years ago: one day at a time. Kelly proposed on Debra's 50th birthday, and one year and a day later, on May 5, 2012, on the 25th anniversary of her sobriety, the couple were married in front of 50 guests in the Petaluma garden of a friend's home. Another friend, Amy Critchett (daughter of Woolsey), licensed by Universal Ministries, officiated. Kelly's father, Chuck, was his best man; his son bore the rings. Both the bride and groom are Mexican on their paternal side and Irish on their maternal side - their affectionate term for their heritage is "green beans." The Cinco de Mayo wedding had touches from both cultures: A truck served gourmet organic tacos at the reception, and an Irish bell was presented to ring at times when forgiveness might be of help. Debra wore a vintage Daughters of Simone ivory lace dress, a gift from her mother, Betty Parashis, who walked her down the aisle. "Friends say it's like a movie," said Debra said. "Except it's better, because it's real." Louise Rafkin is a freelance writer in Oakland. Send us your stories of upcoming weddings, anniversaries or celebrations to lovestories@sfchronicle.com. Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=